I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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