We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
