Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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