I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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