She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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