Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
