feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
