Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
