Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
