my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
