Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
