Ambien. No doubt about it.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
