..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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