the condom got lost in my hair
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you win again, gameday.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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