I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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