Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
