3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
