My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
