i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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