sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
