My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
