my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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