she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
