Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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