I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
