I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
