i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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