; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
