Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize