Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
