i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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