So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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