Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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