so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
