Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
