Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Randomize
