i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
