i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I don't deserve a penis
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
try to milk me bitch
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