I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
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