ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
my being single is dangerous.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
