i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
