Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
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Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
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Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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