he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
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