Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
My dad is sitting where you rode me
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
