im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
