i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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