He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
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I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
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She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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