I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I had to cum in my sink.
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