This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize