Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
