just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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