theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
