The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize