I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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