Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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