4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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