Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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