Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
