guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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