I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I think people are normalizing furries
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
