Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
This is my gift to your gina
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Randomize
