so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
