She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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