I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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