I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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