Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
