i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
