you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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