I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
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