i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
