I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly