it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate