you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.