life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize