Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.