I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
